This post has jack to do with the Labyrinth or the War in Iraq. Well, unless you associate a certain rabid sort of stupidity with the continuance of the war, mayhap? When I read the news story that made my brain blink, shake its head…and then check to see if I had liquor instead of coffee, my next act was to look at the wall here beside me and yes-sir-eee, it says NOVEMBER, not April. I am still waiting with fingers crossed that someone will ‘fess up that it is all a joke. What so discombobulated me?
Wrap your mind around this statement: “The U.S. government declares ferret poop to be an effective weapon against drug abuse,”
HEY! I have ferrets! Should the DEA start paying me? Do examine the rest of the story as Reuters reported it: “WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Got some leftover drugs — the kind that someone else might want to use, such as painkillers or stimulants? Wrap them up in used kitty litter or other pet droppings, the government advises. A pilot program at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration is looking at ways people can safely dispose of unused prescription drugs that are liable to be abused.
The Food and Drug Administration recommends flushing some of the most dangerous ones down the toilet, including the strong, addictive painkillers oxycodone and fentanyl and stimulants such as methylphenidate.
But environmentalists worry about the effects on fish and amphibians.
On its Web site at http://www.samhsa.gov/rxsafety/, SAMHSA recommends ways to disguise leftover pills.
“Mixing prescription drugs with an undesirable substance, such as used coffee grounds or kitty litter, and putting them in impermeable, nondescript containers, such as empty cans or sealable bags, will further ensure the drugs are not diverted,” it says.
Of course some people do not drink coffee. But maybe they have a pet ferret.
“Ferret waste, like nearly any other form of pet waste, can be effectively used to help prevent the abuse of unused prescription drugs,” SAMHSA spokesman Mark Weber said.
This news delighted the American Ferret Association.”
I should hope so. All you Californians should fight for legalization of your currently illegal ferrets and the anti-drug tools that they really are!
Seriously SAMHSA? This is it? This is how to beat prescription drug abuse? ‘Cause I know tons of addicts are going thru my trash bins looking for the bathroom trash, pawing thru the cotton swabs and empty toliet paper rolls to find that little bottle with a couple oxycodone tabs left inside. Uh huh…..was it Rush Limbaugh that my god chased off last night? Whoops, got dyslexic there in my excitement at battling addiction…my DOG of course.
What I’d like you to tell me is how to be sure I don’t get my windows smashed in for these pathetic addicts to look thru my MEDICINE CABINET…can you do that for me? Oh, and since we are not to flush stuff down the toliet for fear of polluting the water table, may I ask if anyone ever explained to you yahoos exactly where pet waste ends up? It goes to the landfill….ours is atop a major aquifer for the area as it so happens; so gee, it rains on the pet poo and washes it all into….voila! the water source! I feel so much better now; maybe the addicts could get their fix just drinking enough water?
Really, are you guys serious? You draw a check for coming up with this kind of shit? Why, why, why oh Dog…am I unemployed?? Whoops, there goes that dyslexia again….oh wait, maybe it is the water with all the catshit-mediated vicodin remnants in it. Guess it is time to get medieval on this shit—-you know what that means, don’t you? Gotta drink beer, as it is now safer than the water—oh and science tip, it hydrates better after exertion!
Really, I can’t wait for the REAL April Fools Day, now.
