(image from lolcats site, not my own)

Sometimes, I do try to not address an issue that intrudes on my life. Just a bit of a disclaimer before I go a bit purple in the face, you see. Because, no, I am not Christian….but I was once upon a time. And silly, gutless crap like I am about to rant about is one reason why I left it all behind me.

Halloween just passed, of course. It falls at the same time as the pagan holy day of Samhain, but is not the same thing. Halloween comes from Hallows E’en (evening), you see. It is the eve of All Hallows, a Catholic holiday that comes before All Saints Day—the “everybody else dead and not in heaven day, one could say.

Of course, in America, Halloween is when kids dress up and go trick or treating. When I was a child it was one of the rare purely joyous days of the year. When I came home with my siblings, we would fill several saved metal coffee cans with candy and it would be the source of treats for months to come! But, oh, it is the “evil” don’t you know?

First, Pat Robertson put out the word that you shouldn’t even buy candy at the Halloween season, because “witches have prayed over and consecrated it” and, oh, btw, put DEMONS in the candy. I had no idea of the risk—here I thought excess calories and tooth decay were evil enough! And really, the idea that “witches” want to fill candy with demons was just funny-crazy.

But then, word came from the Vatican (apparently, our terrible American ways are spreading to Europe) saying that good Catholics should not participate in this “dangerous” behavior that is “a pagan celebration of terror, fear, and death“! Right. Gee, I know if I was the leader of a major religion and I had to do a press release, I’d surely single out something as vile and earthshakingly evil as Halloween! (Why is there NOT a special sarcasm font, anyhow?)

I mean, what could possibly be more important than telling parents to forbid their children to dress up like ghouls, vampires, ghosties, and movie characters, right?

The world is engulfed in war, famine, environmental changes that could kill millions. And “the” Church decides to decry Halloween?
Give me a frakking break. It reminds me of the high school my kids attended. The authorities there disciplined kids who put a bit of cayenne pepper in a pushy jock’s jockstrap. But drug sales went on in the hallways. Sad to see that the Catholic Church is now so literally gutless that is is adopting the “pick the enemy you can defeat” techniques used by minor bureaucrats everywhere!

That way, you can look like you make plenty of noise and change, right? We can’t stop war. We can’t stop famine. We can’t stop the planet from finally killing us off in huge numbers in recompense for us killing sections of the planet. But BY GAWD, we can stop Halloween and binging on chocolates by small creatively costumed children! Way to go!

Maybe this comes of the rule for celibacy? Is it like they say at the gym “Use it or lose it”? They didn’t use their balls, so now they have finally lost them? Seriously, I have more at heart here than being verbally dismissive and insulting; this is what “God” finds important? Costumes and candy? I was proud to be an ex-Catholic; proud of the Catholic part—there was so much that even after I left, I admired. Stupid minor league stuff like this makes me merely prouder of the “ex” part.

3 Responses to “Priorities – Bureaucratic Religion 101”