Some could accuse me of posting a verbal self-portrait with that title! But I was actually thinking of the recent train of thought about my entire country. But I will begin with a confession of sorts. I AM self-absorbed at times; I get wrapped around the axle of self-examination to see if I am doing things “right”. When I say the majority of my countrymen and women are self-absorbed, I cannot, of course, know if they use that phrase the same way. I suspect not.

By insular, I mean that most Americans care little for what goes on beyond our borders; by self-absorbed I mean that most cannot be bothered to know the least thing about what goes on in the world outside their families and pets—as if ignoring it makes it incapable of reaching into their lives to monkey wrench things. And because I do believe most of my fellow Americans ARE people of good will and generous at heart, I believe in some deep recess of the mind, they KNOW this is what existentialists call “bad faith” and it depresses them.

I am sure most folks stopped reading right there, going “Oh God, another America hater.” I don’t hate America or Americans. I love my country and fellow citizens as I love my children or husband. But just as I can get pissed off when my grown children or husband do something remarkably stupid or self-damaging, I can get pissed off at my nation!

And I wonder how America got ISD’d to begin with? How does that happen?
When did reading the news about the celebrity de jour become more important than real news (like the ability to now create fake DNA at crime scenes, for one thing? How did America suddenly throw in the towel of involvement and retreat to pablum on the evening news? How did a nation like this become more involved in “comfort” that caring what is “right” in the world? When did our ideas OF what is right get skewed to mean “young, bouncy, thin, and sexy” instead of “honest, hard-working, determined, and fair”?

News pundits pounded President Carter over his “malaise” speech. But you know what? He had a very good point. We have lost something—and we are losing more constantly. I have to fight the tendency myself, I find myself in danger of retreating into some mystic and solitary condition instead of putting up my fists to take on the world. Sometimes I don’t want to read the news either; but if I don’t? I have no right, next time shit hits an American fan, to cry “Oh, why US?” Because if you are not paying attention and working to counter the downhill slide, you have no right to bitch. Yes, all us nasty mean people who grew up saying things like “If you aren’t part of the solution, you are part of the problem!” had a point.

What problem are YOU solving? I know one friend fights against the bullshit stigmatization of fat Americans. I know a lady who takes on her local government when they do stupid land-grabby things. The “think globally, act locally” crowd is onto something. We live in a smaller and more crowded world than we ever imagined. Step out into it and CHANGE it; it will change YOU and suddenly the world will be your front yard, you will forget to worry if your crows feet are worse, and the depression will lift!

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