I am too sore from last week’s hiking and the weekend yard work to be ambitious about much in terms of physical duties today. So, I am catching up on apparently rampant stupidity out there in the world. At the current rate or idiocy, we will need to light candles, not for magic purposes, but simply to find our way in the new Dark Ages! Hat-tips to the Bedazzler and Sonic at the Pagan/Wiccan message boards for some of these jaw-dropping bits of nutcake-ness.
Examples follow:

The Handmaiden’s Tale begins in Utah. The morons in the State House there have decided to criminalize having a miscarriage, so see to it you don’t fall down any stairs. Or maybe just keep it super secret if you become pregnant—don’t tell a soul! Cause heavens forfend if Mother Nature should spontaneously abort that fetus, as She does about half to two-thirds of the time; the right to lifers want you in jail for your uterine incompetence! You WISHED (witched?) that fetus to death, didn’t you?

This kind of lunacy would strike me as more heart-felt if any of these asshats gave a tinker’s damn about children already living and breathing on planet—-why not criminalize those who deny poor children health care, for instance?

And hey, public education delivers nothing but a class trip in grade 12, right? Again, Utah, really? They want to graduate you in 11th grade in Utah to shave money off the education budget. If I was faced with such a dire choice, I’d take kindergarten off the list, not senior year. But oh, that IS when students learn pesky things like their legal rights under the Bill of Rights, isn’t it? Yeah, dumb ‘em down so they make better church-going corporate clones. Dark ages, folks, devolution revolution!

The “party of Lincoln” wants naught to do with him? Say what? And burn those “Teddy” bears in effigy, too, because Republican Prez Theodore Roosevelt was guilty of “progressivism” ! Come on, you Grand Old Poops, those are the only contributions you have to polite American Society! But Glen-brain-dead Beck is haranguing his audiences about how they don’t represent what the GOP is all about. Well, no shit, Glen—it is now the Grand Oil Party, the Great Oligarch Patriarchs, the Gray Old Poofters (closeted, of course), any number of things that Lincoln and Roosevelt would not recognize at all!

And if you needed more proof that the ideals of the Medieval Era are returning to common conversation, look no further than the war crime trial against murderous Serbian Karadzic! His actions were “just and holy” because you know, the 21st century is just ripe for a new Crusade against those Islamic sorts, right?

Has everyone on the freaking planet gone nuts? Somehow, I just cannot see Jesus launching a war against another monotheistic faith that counts him as a major prophet; but hey, I am a damned and accursed pagan, what the fuck do I know? About twelve percent of world-wide Christians are crazy fundamental Dominionist murderous sorts; and about the same percentage of Muslims belong to hateful jihad-mad sects of Islam. Why can’t we round JUST those members of the respective faiths up and toss ‘em in a ring. I am pretty sure the rest of us, even we benighted pagans, could get along just fine after that!

But then, the bumper sticker seen this week defies that bit of common sense, I guess. It said “Liberate Constantinople!” I said, “Say what??” The reply was that Constantinople, once Byzantium and head of the Eastern half of the Roman Empire, had been under the ‘vile’ domination of the Turks for too long—time to return the city to it’s “Christian” beginnings.

Saaaay??? Has someone been burning history books again when I was not watching? Cause, damn, people—may I very gently remind you that the “Christian Era” is only 2010 years old and before the Roman Emperor Constantine decided to make it a new Roman capital it was a Greek city—Byzantium. And pagan. Not Christian at all. The star and the crescent were favored symbols of the city and they were said to be sacred to Hekate, the favorite deity of the city for her aid defending them against Alexander the Great’s similarly conquest minded father–Philip of Macedon.

So hey, yeah. Liberate Istanbul/Constantinople/Byzantium. Let’s take it back to it’s Hellenic (and pre-hellenic) paganism, shall we?

Honestly, evolve already. Or at least turn OFF the brain-lights so we will KNOW that nobody is at home. But hey, we have the final word from would-be-beauty-queen Lauren Ashley. This twatchen gives blondes a bad name; she thinks that the Bible is very clear and gays need to be put to death! As a friend said, she might want to duck a few flying stones herself; after all, it ain’t exactly kosher to be shaking your ta-tas in swimsuits in public either.

I just love Cafeteria Christians (yes, roasted with a side of sweet potato fries), don’t you? They cherry-pick favorite bits of murderous mayhem for holy reasons and never, ever examine their own “sinful” ways in the Gospel light. Oh, wait, there goes my Hellenic paganism bit again….that whole “examined life” was a Greek ideal, wasn’t it? Silly me, it’s all good if you are a blonde bombshell Christian with a big mouth and tiny brain.
Arete and hubris are lost concepts on those types…..I say hubris and hypocrisy, she says righteousness. Uh-huh, keep talking, Lauren—Jesus isn’t the only one listening.

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